install theme

Sonjay called my office:

  • Me: Hey, when you get back here would you give me a ride to the hair place so I can dye my hair? I'll buy you ice cream or something.
  • Sonjay: Sure! Wow, that's way more payment than I was expecting. I would've done it for free! But I love ice cream. If my car ran on ice cream instead of gas, I would never fill my gas tank because I would just eat it all.
  • Hope: What if I dyed my hair an unnatural color this summer?
  • Sonjay: Hope... Your hair is purple.
  • Andrew: Why do you keep batteries in your pocket?
  • Michael: In case I'm mugged by a robot.

I'm laying on my side on Blake's bed on my computer:

  • Tia: *lays on me* OH MY GOODNESS! Blake! No wonder you do this! Your girlfriend is so comfortable! Also, Hope, your boobs are great!!
  • Weirdest conversation ever... : P
  • Carrie: This guy named Zach is the best shimmier in the nation! I'm good at it but he was beating me on the dance floor! Not literally beating me with a stick...

Sonjay talking about how he's losing muscle

  • Blake (Sonjay's roommate): Yeah, I noticed you've been less defined when you've been shirtless. *Pause* That sounded more gay than I meant.
  • Michael: Wow. Telegraph sex must have been really sexy back in the day.
  • Sonjay: Blake! I want to go to the Bargain Barrel!
  • Blake: Who knows what's in there though!
  • Sonjay: Bargains! I'm assuming. Also, possibly barrels.
  • Hailey: I had Vegan brownies last summer and they were actually delicious!
  • Andrew: That would've been the pot they put in to replace all the good things.
  • Alex: I bought Dove chocolates today and not only are they delicious but they give me inspirational messages!

Looking on Craigslist:

  • Michael: WHY ARE THERE SO MANY TRANSVESTITES IN MANHATTAN!?
  • Sonjay: I'm not a hipster! I'm attractive! There's a difference.
  • Hope: That looks like blood on your shirt, Jared!
  • Jared: That's because it is.
  • Carrie: It should've washed out when you washed the shirt!
  • Jared: Well.. I didn't wash it for like a week. So, it had set in.
  • Hudson: That's because you can't wash away MURDER!

Talking to Taylor on the phone:

  • Sonjay: Oh I'm just getting sexy by putting on some breakaway pants. Fun fact, they literally breakaway from your body!!
  • Sonjay: Vitamin Water doesn't even have that many vitamins in it.
  • Michael: I think the only vitamin in it is Vitamin Taste Good. Which I'm pretty sure isn't a real vitamin...
  • Sonjay: No! It has Vitamin D! The D stands for delicious!
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